


Cold

by NightBlade1259



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Tony Stark, Insecure Tony Stark, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightBlade1259/pseuds/NightBlade1259
Summary: There is nothing but cold. There is nothing but nightmares and betrayal.Until there's Bucky.





	1. Why is it so cold?

**Author's Note:**

> Tony's POV

After Ste-Rogers' betrayal, Tony felt nothing but cold. All he could feel was cold, he was always cold now. No matter how warm FRIDAY made the room, Tony was cold. He could feel the weight of the suit after Rogers broke the reactor. He could feel the chill of the snow seeping into his bones. He could see the cold rage on St-Rogers' face. He could feel the fear of thinking Rogers would kill him.

Tony pushed through the nightmares and bad memories though. 'Stark men are made of iron' after all. So Tony did what he did best, he worked through it all. He made amendments to the Sokovia Accords. He made new products for SI. He fixed the suit. He did all of this hoping the cold would go away. It didn't.

On nights where he couldn't sleep but was too exhausted to work, he would sit on the roof and look at the stars. That was when the questions came. Why did they leave? Why couldn't they listen? Did they ever love me? Were we ever a family?

And after these moments he would pick himself up and work. Tony feared if he wasn't working, there would be nothing. He would be nothing. So he worked. He pulled allnighters and worked. And when the exhaustion would catch up with him, he would try to sleep. But then the cold would return. Then the nightmare would come and swallow him whole. So Tony wouldn't sleep because if he did, then he would wake up screaming in a cold sweat.

There was nothing but cold now.


	2. Pardons and Screams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV

After months of nothing but cold Tony decides its time to bring the Avengers back, even if they're all still assholes. Tony's wounds still haven't healed completely but he's sick of the cold. He wants to at least attempt to have warmth even if it means opening old wounds. Even if it means welcoming the family (?) that betrayed him back into his home. But Tony is used to betrayal at this point.

Tony spends the next month trying to get the Avengers pardoned. When he isn't doing that, he is building Barnes a new prosthetic arm. Its the least Tony can do after attacking him. Tony still hates Barnes for killing his mom, but he realizes, after he was given time to process his grief (see Rogers, I can see reason if given time), that Barnes wasn't in charge. HYDRA was pulling Barnes' strings at the time. So Tony finds a therapist for Barnes and makes him a new arm.

The Avengers finally get pardoned after 2 months of work. Once they get their pardon, St-Rogers tries to call on that goddamn phone he sent. Tony throws it at a wall and it breaks. For the first time since the "Civil War" (the media really needs more creativity) Tony breaks down. 

He screams at the world for what it did to him. He screams at Rogers for lying and betraying him. He screams at Barnes for killing his mom. He screams at the Avengers for leaving him. He screams until he looses his voice. And then he cries for what feels like hours.

But then, he gets up and moves on. He works because 'Stark men are made of iron.' And because over the last few months Tony has learned that no one will help him. No one will pick up his broken pieces. He is in this alone, even if Rhodey and Vision try to help. They can't, he is too cold for there to be any warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky will come into play next chapter and then there finally be dialog. ;)


	3. Welcome Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV

This all leads Tony to where he is now. In a conference room at Stark Tower waiting for the Avengers to come in.

 _Breathe Stark. They can't hurt you. Your fine. In, out, in, out._ Tony thinks to himself. Vision, Rhodey, Ross, and himself are all in the conference room waiting for the Avengers to arrive. Rhodey and Vision seem calm but their eyes betray there anger. Ross looks like he wants to arrest Team Cap the second they walk in.

Just as Tony gets his breathing under control, Team Cap walks in. Rogers first, then Barnes, Romanov, Wilson, Barton, T'Challa, Maximoff, and then what's his name. They all sit and then Ross speaks.

"As you all know, if it were up to me you would all be arrested for ignoring the Accords and all of your crimes against the USA. But, you have all been pardoned thanks to Mr Stark and his lawyers. I thank you for finally signing the Accords. But if you ever go outside the law again, you all will be arrested and held accountable for your actions." Ross said matter-of-factly before walking out of the room.

 _Great speech Ross,_ Tony thought, _Really intimidating. I think they are shaking in their shoes. Can't you see the fear in their faces?_ Tony thought sarcastically and then sighed. Why couldn't Ross do one of his super long speeches? Oh, that's right. He has a meeting in 10 minutes which means Tony is gonna have to welcome back the people that betrayed him. Yeah!!

"Well that was a great speech wasn't it?" Tony didn't wait for any of them to respond before continuing. "Since all of you have been gone for a few months I took the liberty of making you all pamphlets to describe what you've missed."

"Barton and Lang," _(That's his name right?),_ "both of your families have been moved to the compound and are safe. If you wish to see them you may after this. Barnes, I have found a therapist who I believe could help you recover. T'Challa, welcome to the USA again. And Rogers, fuck you." With that Tony stood up, gestured towards the pamphlets in the center of the table, and walked out.

"Tony!" Rhodey called after him. Even with his new exoskeleton prosthetic legs, Rhodey wouldn't be fast enough to catch Tony. Tony was practically sprinting to the elevator.

 _Just get to your lab. Just get to the lab. Go._ Tony was full on panicking at this point. He thought he could do this. He thought he could put his walls up again, but he was wrong. All Tony could see now was Roger slamming his shield into the reactor. All he could feel was the cold.

"FRIDAY, take me to my lab." Tony breathed out shakily. He couldn't seem to get enough air into his lungs at the moment.

"Boss, it appears you are having a panic attack. Should I contact Vision or Mr Rhodes?"

"No, no, no, no, don't call them. I-I'm fine. Just, just get me to the lab." Tony stammered out. 

The elevator doors closed and Tony tried to use the breathing techniques that JARVIS had taught him to use when having a panic attack. But all he could see was Rogers breaking the reactor. All he could feel was cold. Tony couldn't breathe.

Once the doors opened to the lab Tony stumbled out and fell to the floor on his knees. Clutching at where the arc reactor used to be Tony tried to breathe. This was nothing. He was safe now. Wasn't he?

After a few minutes, Tony finally calmed down. "FRIDAY, black out mode. No one gets in, no over rides codes, nothing."

"Yes, Boss." Was that sadness in FRIDAY's voice? Didn't matter.

Tony then went to the pile of clothes he leaves in the lab for moments like these. He stepped out of his suit and tie and puts on jeans and his favorite AC/DC shirt. For the next 3 days Tony worked. He worked on all his SI projects before working on new weapons for the Avengers.

But eventually Tony had to listen to his stomach and get food. Tony looked at the clock. It was 3AM, no one should be awake at this hour. So Tony headed to the communal floor because he ran out of coffee on his floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony x Bucky next chapter ;)


	4. A Midnight Coffee Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's POV

Bucky couldn't sleep, again. He had tried, but the nightmares were too much. So he went to the communal floor and started to watch some movie called "Cars". It was weird to have cars talk. About an hour into the movie, the elevator doors opened. Bucky looked at the clock. It was 3AM, who would be awake at this hour? Bucky heard whoever it was head to the kitchen and start the coffee machine.

Bucky crept towards the kitchen. He was careful to keep silent. He peaked around the corner, it was Stark. Stark was leaning against the counter bobbing his head in an attempt to stay wake. There was grease all over Stark and the man had bags under his eyes. _Has Stark been in his lab since he ran out of the conference room 3 days ago?_

"Water travels in a cycle, yes it does. It goes up as evaporation, forms clouds as condensation, and comes down as precipitation, yes it does." Stark sang quietly to himself as he tried to stay awake.  _Odd song_ , Bucky thought.

The coffee machine beeped and Stark jumped a good foot in the air. Bucky couldn't help it, he laughed for what felt like the first time in ages. Stark, a forty something year old man, was singing about the water cycle to stay awake and then jumping when the coffee machine was finished.

Stark glared at Bucky, which only caused him to laugh harder. _Stark is cute when he's sleepy_ , Bucky thought. 

"What do you need Barnes?" Stark said in a voice Bucky thought was supposed to be intimidating. It wasn't.

"Nothin'." Bucky replied.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the nice chat." Stark took out a coffee mug and poured himself a cup before he took a sip. Stark's big brown eyes widen comically. He spit the coffee into the sink.  _Did he just realize that the coffee was hot?_ Bucky thought.

"Ow." Stark said while fanning his mouth.

Bucky smirked. Stark was a dork. _An adorable dork with huge brown eyes, long eye lashes, and a nice ass._ Bucky thought.  _Woah. Where did that come from?_ Bucky shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking about Stark like that. Bucky killed Stark's parents and Stark tried to kill Bucky for that. Bucky shouldn't be thinking about Stark's ass. 

 _It is a nice ass, though._  Bucky sighed. This was getting him nowhere and Stark was still glaring at Bucky while blowing on his coffee to cool it down.

"What are you even doing up this late?" Stark said hatefully.

"Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd watch a movie." 

"Oh." Stark said.

'Want to watch it with me?" Bucky's therapist said that trying to reach out and talk to people would help. But everyone always walked around him as if Bucky was glass. Steve always said it wasn't Bucky's fault and everyone else avoided him. 

"No." Stark said before turning away and walking to the elevator.

 _It's a really nice ass._ Bucky thought before going to find out who would win the big race.


	5. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets yelled at. :)

_**The next morning** _

After last nights coffee run, Tony had spent the night looking over the arm he made for Barnes. He ran some last minute tests and checked everything. After he was sure everything was in working order, Tony headed up to the communal floor to locate Barnes and install the new arm.

"Where's Barnes?" Tony asked.

Everyone was in the kitchen eating what looked like lunch. Steve was leaning against the counter eating a sandwich, while everyone else was sitting on stools that over looked into the kitchen.

"Why do you need him?" Steve asked warily. Tony looked like he was ready to either bolt or punch someone. Neither were preferable.

"I kinda need him to be here if he wants the new arm I made for him." Tony replied curtly.

"He just headed off to take a shower when we all walked in. Why don't you eat something while you wait for Bucky to finish?" Natasha said while eyeing the genius. Tony lost weight since the last time she saw him, and he had huge bags under his eyes. _When was the last time he slept?_ Natasha thought.

"I'm fine. Just tell Barnes if he wants a new arm I'll be in my lab." Tony said, before leaving the room.

"Is it just me or is Stark avoiding us?"Clint asked with a mouth full after the elevator doors closed.

"He should be making more of an effort to socialize with us. We need to be a team again." Steve said in his Captain America voice.

"You forget the fact that he is probably still upset about happened between you two." Natasha said, she showed no emotion at all even though she knew that the Captain was with holding the whole story about what happened in Siberia. 

"Stark was wrong, Cap set him straight, what is there to be upset about?" Clint asked smugly. Clint still held a grudge for Stark after he put them in the raft.

"I do not believe you know the whole story Barton." T'Challa said warily. He didn't know what happened to Stark after he arrested Zemo. He knew that Steve, Bucky, and Tony fought and then Barnes and Rogers walked out bruised and bloody. He didn't know anything else.

"Then what is the whole story, then?" Clint asked bafore taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Mr Stark was informed that Barnes killed his mother by Zemo. He then attempted to kill Mr Barnes after learning that Mr Rogers with held this information from him for years. They then fought each other. Once Mr Rogers got the upper hand he brought down the shield into Mr Stark's reactor causing the suit to power down. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers then left Mr Stark in the cold. After being left there for 3 days with no water or food I found Mr Stark. He was bloody with many bruises and a severe case of frost bite." Vision said from the door way. He had headed up to get lunch and found the Avengers and T'Challa having a discussion about Mr Stark.

"You left him there. You left him there with no form of communication or supplies." Natasha said while glaring at Steve.

"You didn't tell him who killed his parents for what reason?" T'Challa said.

"I was trying to protect him." Steve replied.

"What you did was lie to him for a friend from the 1940's. A friend who killed countless people, but you claim isn't his fault. You left him there after all he did for us. How could you?" Natasha said. Anger began to seep into her words. She knew he wasn't telling them everything. But this, this was too much. He lied to Tony, he ditched him, blamed him, and then expected Tony to fix everything.

"Did you even apologize?" Bruce asked. He had been quietly listening for the whole conversation. Now though, his eyes were a dangerous green color.

"I sent him a letter and a phone that he call with if he needed help." Steve said defensively.

"Mr Rogers, I believe the letter and phone you sent were shit due to the fact that Boss burned the letter and threw the phone across the room when he received it." FRIDAY chimed in. Her use of swear words were reserved for when she felt the equivalent of anger.

"He burned the letter?" Steve was shocked.

"Boss burned the letter the day after he received it." FRIDAY said. Was that anger in her voice?

"So it was a half assed apologie then?" Bruce asked.

"No." Steve said.

"Then why did he burn the letter and break the phone. It doesn't sound like he forgave you for leaving him in the cold." Bruce said. If this kept up he would have to leave, he was on the verge of turning into the Hulk.

"He tried to kill Bucky." Steve said quietly.

"And I killed his parents." Bucky said as he walked in, his hair still dripping from his shower.

"You made it sound like everything was his fault. How could you do this to Tony? He gave us food, top of the line weapons, and a home. And you condemn him for the one time he lashed out in anger and grief?" Clint asked.

"While I believe the Captain has much explaining to do, Mr Stark is in need of assistance." FRIDAY said.

"What happened?" Bucky asked concerned.

"I believe Boss is experiencing a flash back."

"Shit." Bucky said before heading to the elevator.


	6. Flash backs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one switches views a lot.

Tony couldn't breathe. It was too cold. He could feel the weight of the suit on him. He couldn't breathe. Tony was going to die and he knew it. 

"Tony!" Someone yelled. Why was someone yelling at him?

"Doll, ya gotta stop scrathin' yourself." Was that Barnes? Why did he sound so concerned? No one cared about Tony. And scratching? Was that what was causing the pain? No, Steve caused that with his shield.

Someone grabbed Tony's hands and pulled them away from Tony's chest.  _When did I start scratching my chest? Why is it still so cold?_ Tony thought.

Someone wrapped their arms around Tony and pulled him close. "S' cold." Tony mumbled.

"I know, but I need you to breathe with me. In, and out. In and out. Like that. You're doing great doll." Bucky said gently. Bucky didn't know what happened. They all walked (more like ran) in on Tony on his knees in the middle of  his lab. Tony was bleeding from his chest from all the places where he scratched himself.  _It's like 90 degrees in here. Why is he saying he's cold?_ Bucky thought solemnly. 

"Steve's gonna kill me." Tony said so quietly that Bucky barely heard it even with his advanced hearing. 

"No, no, no. I'm not gonna kill you Tony." Steve said before resting his hand on Tony's shoulder.

The second Steve's hand touched Tony, Tony flinched and then screamed. Tony pushed away from Bucky and started yelling.

"I didn't mean to! Don't hurt me! I'll be good! I'll make you more stuff! Just please! Don't kill me! I won't hurt him, I'll be good!" Tony was hysterical. Obviously Tony wasn't with them but stuck in the flash back still.

Bucky was starting to panic. Tony was freaking out and Bucky didn't know what to do to calm him down. Who was Tony trying to convince to not kill him? Who wasn't he going to kill? What was happening?

"Steve, I think you need to leave. He's seems to be afraid of you. Barnes, calm down." Natasha said calmly.

Bucky approached Tony slowly before wrapping his arms around the smaller man again. This time Tony just tucked his head into Buckys neck and held onto his shirt. Bucky wouldn't have noticed that Tony was crying if not for the tear drops hitting his neck.

"Shhhhhhhhh. Your okay. No one's gonna hurt you." Bucky said into Tony's ear. The others were silently being led out by Natasha and Clint. Before they left, Natasha gave a Bucky a look saying _If you hurt him, I will end you._ Bucky nodded.

After a few minutes Tony fell asleep. Bucky couldn't get over how the genius was panicking. What caused him to think someone was going to kill him?                                      

* * *

 

Tony woke up in his bed with strong arms wrapped around his middle.  _When was the last time I woke up without screaming?_ Tony wondered absently.

Whoever was behind him shifted. Tony shifted as well so he good get a look at who was cuddling him. It was Barnes. 

"Evenin' doll." Bucky said, his voice still rough from sleep.

"Hey." Tony wouldn't blush. No matter how cute Barnes looked after just waking up. "What are you doing here?"

"You had a flash back and a were hurtin' yourself. I, um, I hugged you, and then um." Barnes wasn't blushing, he wasn't.

"Then what?" Tony asked impatiently.

"Well you cried into my neck and kept mumblin' about being cold. Then you fell asleep and I took you up here. Then I meant to leave but I guess I fell asleep too." Barnes mumbled.

"Oh, okay. Thanks?" Tony was never going to live this down. He cried and panicked in front of his mother's killer. Great.

Barnes nodded and then sat up. Tony sat up as well and then noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt. If Tony could turn any redder he would be a tomato.

"What happened to my shirt?" Tony squeaked.

"It had rips in it, I took it off." Barnes was back to his short answers again.

Tony hummed his acknowledgement before getting off the bed to grab a shirt. Tony leaned over and picked a shirt off the ground before walking out of the room. Tony was going to lab before he embarrassed himself any further.

 _It's an amazing ass._ Bucky thought before getting out of Tony's bed and heading down to get dinner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is an ass man, what can I say? ;)  
> And thanks for all the feed back. Let me know what you think in the comments please!


	7. New Arms and Sass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is a sassy, tired person.

Tony was in his lab, on full lock down mode. No one had been in or out for the last 6 hours. Tony was trying desperately to forget about falling asleep with Barnes. He couldn't do that to himself. So Tony did what he did best, he worked in the lab. Tony was half way through a new prototype for Rhodey's legs when someone knocked on the glass surrounding the lab.

Tony glanced at the glass. Tony could see who  was outside but they couldn't see in when blackout mode was on. Barnes was standing near the door looking lost. In his hands was a plate of food. The super soldier began to mumble something that Tony couldn't hear over his blaring music. Tony sighed, Barnes was probably there to try and get Tony to apologize for crying on him or something.  _Maybe he wants new upgrades?_ Tony snorted. That was all he was good for at the is point, anyways.

"Let him in, baby girl." Tony said before going back to the holograms of Rhodey's prosthetic leg designs. At first Tony thought that Barnes had left because there was no noise to indicate that he had enters. Tony sighed and turned around, prepared to see a plate of food at the door. Barnes was standing a foot away holding the plate of food out to Tony.

Tony jumped in his seat, not expecting Barnes to be so close. "Eat." Barnes stated simply. Barnes was back to what Tony had dubbed 'Winter Soldier Mode'. Or WSM for short. Tony glanced at the plate, it was steak, potatoes, and corn with a fork and knife stabbed into the steak in order to keep them in place.  _Very domestic._ Tony thought before taking the offered plate. 

Barnes just kept flickering his gaze from the plate to Tony expectantly. Tony picked up the fork and jiggled it until the steak fell off. Tony looked at Barnes, only to find him glaring at the plate. Tony swallowed around the lump in his throat and ate a bite of potatoes. Tony thought they were a little soupy, but still nice.

"Thanks." Tony said hesitantly before turning around and placing the plate down. Tony then started going over the designs again. 

"You gonna finish 'em?" Barnes said in a monotone voice. Tony jumped again, having expected Barnes to be satisfied with Tony eating some of them.

"Why?" Tony didn't want Barnes to be doing this for him. He didn't want to get attached and then be stabbed in the back. Tony was sick of being betrayed. He just wanted to be left alone to build things. Tony couldn't open himself after having what he believed to be family, betray and blame him. 

Tony shivered, he was cold again. "I care." Barnes replied, his voice had a softer tone to it now. Tony turned to Barnes. Tony saw how Barnes' eyes had gone all soft and was that pity in them? Tony was tired of being pitied or hated. Tony was just tired and cold.

"You seem to be the only one who does." Tony stated simply. Barnes seem to be taken aback by that response. Barnes opened his mouth as if to speak and then abruptly closed it again.

"Is that how you feel?" Barnes said hesitantly. Barnes appeared to be lost in what to do next. Tony sighed and turned to the holograms again. He closed Rhodey's prosthetic and opened Barnes. 

"Do you want to install the new arm?" Tony asked, changing the subject. Barnes starred at Tony for a minute before nodding his head. Tony walked over to a nearby table and pulled a sheet off of Barnes' new arm. It was a sleek new one that was identical to Barnes' right hand. The red star was no longer there and instead was blank. 

"I can paint a new symbol on if you would prefer or it can stay blank." Tony said. Barnes shook his head, he still didn't believe that he should be an Avenger yet, not that he would say that aloud. If Barnes did, Steve would give him the puppy-dog eyes.

"Okay. I need you to sit down so we can remove yours." Barnes sat down on a stool and gazed at his arm. Bucky was ready to get rid of it after all the lives he and it had taken.

* * *

 

**_3 hours later_ **

Bucky walked into the communal kitchen with his new arm in place. The Avengers were all scattered around in the living room off of the kitchen. Bucky walked silently over to the fridge and opened it. Bucky grabbed a Pepsi and was prepared to head to his room when Steve called out.

"Is that a new arm, Buck?" Bucky nodded his head, before turning to leave once more.

"Hey, come mingle with your fellow Avengers." Clint called, draping his head over the back of the couch to look at Bucky. At that point everyone was looking at him. Bucky hated being the center of attention, it always meant he had done something wrong and would be punished.

"'M not an Avenger." Bucky mumbled.

"Oh Buck. Of course you are." Steve cooed. Bucky starred at Steve before turning and heading to the elevator. Bucky didn't stop until a hand was placed on his shoulder and pulled him to face whoever. Reacting on instinct, Bucky punched whoever in the face. It was Steve, Bucky had punched Steve right in the nose.  _Punk._ Bucky thought.

"You probably shouldn't sneak up on an assassin, Steve." Natasha said from the living room.

"You are an Avenger, Buck." Steve said quietly while holding his now broken nose.

"After all I did, no 'm not. Stevie, I am not an Avenger and maybe never will be." Bucky stated simply. Bucky didn't want to be an Avenger, especially after the Accords and what the 'Avengers' did to Tony. The man had been through too much and deserved more than their blame. Bucky couldn't bring himself to be an Avenger even if it meant Steve being upset with him.

"That wasn't your fault." And here was why Bucky couldn't be around for Steve for long. Steve always insisted that nothing was Bucky's fault.

"They're still dead because of me." Bucky said as the elevator doors opened.

"You weren't in control of yourself, Buck. They made you do it. It's HYDRA's fault, not yours."

Tony snorted as he walked passed Bucky and Steve into the kitchen. "What's so funny, Stark?" Steve asked in his Captain America voice.

"What happened to Barnes wasn't his fault because he was wiped and had no sense of right and wrong. What he did was HYDRA's fault because they taught him, more like beat into him, to follow orders. That's all he knew and he never questioned it until, his memories returned and so did his sense of right and wrong. That Cap, is why Bucky isn't at fault." Tony said, turning on the coffee machine.

"As for him being an Avenger, that's his decision not yours. If he doesn't want to be one or is still at the ropes with himself, then he shouldn't be forced. For a best friend, Cap, you suck. Your 'Bucky,'" Tony said using finger quotes, "is gone. So stop pretending that Barnes is going to magically be okay and become an Avenger. The man was torture by HYDRA for seventy years. He needs time, give him some." Just as Tony's speech ended, the coffee machine beeped. Tony poured himself a cup, completely black, before taking a big gulp. 

"Give a man reasons for things and he may believe you. If you just say your opinion and hope people will believe you just because of who you are, then you will be surprised when they don't. Not everyone trusts everything that comes out of your mouth just because your Captain America." Tony said with the least amount of emotion that Barnes had ever heard him speak with.

"I'm his best friend. I only want what's best for him." Steve said pathetically.

"Your best friend is dead. What you have in front of you is a broken, tortured man. Get over yourself, Cap." Tony said before walking passed Steve and Bucky.

Steve tried to place his hand on Tony's shoulder, but the second that Steve touched Tony, Tony jumped a foot in the air and glared at Steve harshly. Tony shrugged off Steve's hand and walked to the elevator. Steve starred at Tony and his hand in shock.

"I don't really like to be touched now Cap. After repeatedly being slapped away, now I don't think I know what to do if I'm not being beaten. Excuse me." Tony said as he stepped into the elevator.

Bucky starred at Tony as the elevator doors closed. Tony noticed and winked just as the doors closed. 

"That was hot." Bucky couldn't help himself. Tony was gorgeous when he was talking about something passionately. Steve turned his comically wide blue eyes on Bucky and Bucky really could stop if he tried, he burst out laughing. 

By the time Bucky was done, everyone was starring at him as if he had 3 heads. Bucky wiped away the tears from laughing so hard and looked at Steve. Steve had a face of pure confusion, hurt, and shock. Bucky shrugged and took a sip of his Pepsi. 

"What was that?" Sam asked, completely lost on what had just occurred. Bucky giggled at Sam's stupidity.

"That was Tony using logic not just saying things until they become true." Bruce said to Sam. Bucky nodded. Steve was still starring at his hand as if it had betrayed him.

 _Now how do you repay someone who has everything?_ Bucky thought as he finished his walk to the elevator. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you notice any mistakes and I love your guys' feed back!


	8. Chapter 8

While Bucky may not be the best cook ever, he loved to bake. Bucky discovered his love for baking shortly after he was defrosted. Clint and Lang always attempted to steal the freshly baked goods, and so did Natasha occasionally. 

Bucky was planning to make blueberry muffins as a thank you for Tony.  _When did it change from Stark to Tony?_ Bucky wondered absentmindedly. Bucky had asked FRIDAY what Tony's favorite desert was and she said that she, in fact, didn't know. Which was odd. Didn't Stark eat sweets? The Avengers said that Stark had a major sweet tooth before Ultron. After, they didn't know considering Tony moved into the tower and no one bothered to check on him besides Pepper, Rhodey, Vision, and Natasha. 

After asking FRIDAY, Bucky had proceeded to asking the Avengers what Tony's favorite desert was. Natasha said Tony had a thing for muffins last time she checked. Steve and Bruce said that anything with blueberries would make Tony love him. Everyone else said they didn't know, and Wanda just glared at Bucky. Bucky and her still didn't get along.

So, using his amazing brain powers, Bucky decided to make blueberry muffins with the help of FRIDAY. FRIDAY read the instructions aloud to Bucky, and Bucky followed them. After 15 minutes of mixing ingredients, and another 15 waiting for the muffins to bake, they were done. They looked delicious, but Bucky decided to have Tony try them first. 

Bucky took 4 muffins with him to the elevator. "Lab please, FRIDAY." The elevator headed down to the lab. Bucky was slightly surprised to find the lab not in blackout mode when he arrived. But, just to make sure he didn't scare Tony, Bucky still knocked on the glass. Tony looked up from his hologram with a grease smear going from his left ear down to his chin. Just the sight made Bucky want to giggle.

"The door is unlocked there, Buckaroo." Tony said after regaining his composer. Bucky walked in, and he could pin point the moment Tony realized there was freshly made blueberry muffins in his hands. Bucky swore Tony's eyes dilated slightly. Tony looked Bucky in the eyes for a moment, and Bucky smirked. Tony then glanced away and frowned at the hologram. Bucky swore Tony was pouting.

"They're for you." Bucky said as he walked over to where Tony sat in his chair. Bucky held out a muffin for Tony to take. Tony glanced at the muffin and then at Bucky before returning to his hologram. Bucky then remembered a conversation he had had with Natasha, when she finally realized Bucky had developed a crush for Tony. She had made fun of him for hours to his disdain. Though, she had mentioned that Tony hated being handed things due to a trauma from his past. Sadly though, she wouldn't tell him why, saying 'That's Tony's decision on whether or not to tell you.'

Bucky sighed, how could he have forgotten something like that. Bucky placed 2 muffins on the table in front of Tony. "Go ahead, I didn't poison them." Bucky tried for joking but Tony eyed him skeptically.  _Why would I give him poisoned muffins?_

Tony took a small bite out of the muffin, and then moaned. He then took a bigger bite out of the muffin and looked up at Bucky smiling. "These are great, thanks." Tony said happily. Tony then ate the rest of the muffin before moving onto the next one. Bucky smiled at Tony, and how adorable he was when happy. Once Tony finished his second muffin, Tony returned to the hologram. 

"Thanks, Barnes." 

"Just thought, I should thank you for givin' it to Steve like you did." Bucky replied. Tony looked up from his hologram with a confused look. 

"Huh?" Tony said intelligently.

"Steve thinks that just sayin' things make them true. He has never given me reasons why doing what I did wasn't my fault like you did." Bucky paused, this was getting a little to honest but he pushed through anyways. "It's just some days I can't find reasons why what I did wasn't my fault. I killed those people but everyone says it wasn't my fault, but it feels that way."

At this point, Bucky was looking at the floor, remembering all of the lives he had taken. He remembered all of them as he had told Tony during their fight. And all of them haunted his nightmares.

"There isn't anything wrong with feeling guilty. The problem is what you do with that guilt. If you just mope around then nothing good will come of it. Use the wrong things you did and that guilt you feel in order to help people. Use it to get out of bed in the morning. Use it to save lives from villains and protect the innocent. And anyone who tells you that you shouldn't feel guilty can suck it. You can't control your feelings and you should feel safe when sharing them with those around you." Tony said like he had said it a million times. 

"Thanks." Bucky said with a small smile on his face, head ducked, blue eyes looking at Tony through his hair. Tony blushed and quickly turned away from Bucky. "No problem." Tony replied.

Bucky looked at the two remaining muffins he had brought down. Bucky took the wrapping thing off of one and took a bite. Tony was right, they were great. "Want the last one?" Bucky asked with a mouth full.

Tony glanced at Bucky and then the muffin sadly. "I'm good thanks. Gotta finish this prototype for SI anyways. You better go check and make sure Clint didn't steal any of the leftovers." Bucky took one more look at Tony before putting the last muffin on the table and then leaving the lab.

 _Why can't you let yourself be happy, Tony?_ Bucky thought sadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions for future works and prompts are always welcomed. Also I love it when you guys comment (even on mistakes) and give me feed back! 
> 
> Sorry for not updating for a while. I didn't really know where I wanted to take this, but I think I have it now.


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